One of the most common things I face is the fact that most people are not aware of their inner thought process, thus, they are often very confused, detached, lost and unhappy. Yesterday, I had a similar conversation…
Are you aware of your thoughts?
Probably, few of us have realized that in our head, somewhere in the background, there is always something like a continuous flow of thoughts, which is constantly active. All that we think, but we never say verbally in words is happening there. In fact, words communicate a very small part of what we are constantly thinking.
In most of the time, we do not realize the content of our internal monologue or self-talk, and yet, it manifests itself in the most categorical possible way – through our body language and our voice.
For instance, no matter how nice we try to be with our colleague or our boss, if we don’t like him, if we don’t think good about him, even if we don’t say anything, he somehow feels it (and, probably, responds to us similarly). The same applies for ourselves – if we don’t like ourselves, if we constantly have a negative thoughts about what we do, about how we look, how we feel, etc., very soon we will actually start to really feel and look this way in a physical level. This relationship between our thoughts and our body has been studied for many years.
In fact, in the last decade alone, there have been many interesting and exciting researches on the human thoughts. They show that our thoughts and our body language affect not only the way other people communicate with us, but they affect ourselves as well. What this means is that, if you constantly think of yourself that you will not be able to do it, that you do not deserve it, that you are not good enough, that you cannot do it because you do not have the necessary skills, that you are afraid, that you are uncomfortable, that you are ashamed … etc., you basically are doing a self-sabotage. And the opposite, if your thoughts are focused on positive things, and are encouraging, you will definitely feel better even if you have to face difficult situations. As Henry Ford says, whether you think you can, or you think you can’t…you are right.
And what happens then? If our thinking affects the way we feel, the way we look and how we act, then it also influences the results we have in our lives. At the same time, the results in our lives, just as in a spellbound circle, influence what we think, how we feel, how we look and how we act. Therefore, it becomes vital that we are aware of what we think… For ourselves, for others and for the world around us.
And if you are a little hesitant about whether or not this is true or not, study it. In this short article, my goal is not to convince you that I am right and that it is very important to realize your internal monologue and where it leads you. No. This article is to make you curious to explore your own inner self-talk and all that it is telling you. And here is a simple exercise you can start with:
Recall a situation where you were very pleased with yourself. As a result, you have had some great personal or professional success. For some of you, it may be difficult – surprising even – to easily remember such a situation. Do not give up. I am sure there have been many such situations in your life. Just remember. And for others, this may be the easiest thing – you have similar situations every day. People are different. So, do the mind exercise and go back to this situation. Remember where you were. How did you feel, what thoughts and emotions excited you, what you said to others and yourself, what you heard others say about you, etc. And if you want, you can ever write down these memories to make them even clearer and to reflect on them.
And now remember a situation where you were not happy with yourself. And here, for some of you, it may be very easy while others may need a little more concentration. When your mind returns such a situation, remember how you experienced it. What did you feel? You may even remember some pain in your body or tension. How did you looked, what did you said, what others said about you? Verbally describe or write down all those thoughts and emotions.
And now, if you compare the two situations and what you wrote or said about yourself, you will most likely notice big difference. Take your time to reflect and analyze your feelings and your thoughts. You will most probably be able to clearly notice your inner self-talk and the emotions and thoughts that arise.
Use them as a guidance that can help you figure out what do you need to do and what is you internal monologue trying to tell you by getting back to those situations. Maybe by doing such mind exercises, you will be able to figure out some solutions to current situations and what you are currently doing that does not work for you or is even harmful for your personality.
You may also be able to find explanation on your current reactions, your fears, the source of your anxiety and unhappiness or something that excites you and you would really like to try. Don’t be afraid to explore and become more conscious about your thoughts. Try to become an observer and don’t judge yourself.
The good news is you can always choose what to focus on and recall the thoughts and the emotions that can make you feel better or those that remind you a good life lesson. This technique can also be used when you find yourself in a given situation, be it a joyful one or a difficult one. Just know that you can always choose how to feel and by shifting the focus of your thoughts, you can always feel more connected to yourself and use that inner wisdom to take good decisions.
A Little Note & Thanks
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